When you Loose someone in your Life...

Its weird when your relationship with someone who you were close to changes.  It feels like you have lost a part of yourself as they have left.  It makes you wonder if you were really that close and valuable to each other or just a part of the daily routine.  It happened to me before when I have drifted apart from my best friend and that broke my heart but this is different.  Even though I thought me and her would never make it up, somewhere deep down in me I knew that if I needed her no matter where we stood,  I could phone her up and pour out my heart.

I don’t feel like that about this.  I feel lost.  Its been five days since we last texted each other but it seems like its been months.  How is it that people that you may not even consider your close friends are the ones that affect you the most when they are taken out of the equation.  I don’t speak to some of my best friends for weeks on end but you, couple of days and that’s it.  Maybe it’s the fact that texting you has become a habit.  Something I do.  Just a part of my routine.

Is it that I only want to be friends with you?  Is that not good enough?  Am I all of a sudden un-interesting to you?  Well I cant really blame you; since I predicted myself that we will just probably stop talking on the side.  I still see you nearly everyday in college but that’s that.  How much better would it have been if we never went down that road?  Just stayed friends and that’s it.  But then in some ways I think it was inevitable.  Even if we were just friends at some point I would have started to like you. 

I guess I just have to get used to not talking to you.  That will be my routine then.  I mean I was fine and good at the beginning.  Then you go and start talking to me again.  I cant decide whether its easier not to have you in my life all together or be close friends with you?  As Professor Green says ‘being just friends is never going to be good enough’.

Photo Shoot, Boys and the Ghetto.

Saturday morning sitting in bed writing for my blog with a cup of coffee next to me.  I have come to a lot of conclusions this week.  Thanks to a few videos on YouTube.  If you don’t respect yourself and go against your morals/beliefs for someone then how can you live with yourself and be happy alone?

Things I loved this week:

Makeup – nothing since I have not worn makeup for the whole of the week.

Skincare – I am currently on my 5^th day of Retin-A treatment so sunscreen is my best friend.  You can read about my favorite sunscreens here.

I was on a photo shoot earlier this week and am absolutely amazed/dazed by the end pictures. Here's some of my favourites.

Music – ‘Take Care’ by Drake.  I know I *shake my head* at myself.  Some of my favourites are ‘Doing it wrong’ , ‘Underground Kings’ , ‘Cameras’.  I am usually not one to listen to Drake ect. But his music has been very reflective of my mood lately.  I also enjoy his voice. What can I say.  The ghetto got to me.

I’ve also been obsessed with anything technology related especially mobile phones.  My upgrade is coming in a month and I am planning to get the HTC Sensation XE. I’m so exited by the way.

Things I didn’t like so much this week:

Boys, the fact that I need to start revising for exams and that red mark the wont leave my chin and disappear.

What music have you grown to love?

Afro's, Hair Science and The Struggles of a Vegetarian!

Another week has passed…WOW! An overall peaceful week but I definitely have some new obsessions to talk about.

Things I loved this week:  I have really been into big, curly, voluminous, afro type hair.  I am currently experimenting with setting methods as the curls always fall…

 

Tinted Moisturiser, I have been using the ‘Nivea Visage Tinted Moisturising Day Cream Natural’ what a mouthful! Retails at around £3.99.  This gives just a little tint to my skin so I look a bit healthier as I can get very pale and dead looking in the winter.  Just enough moisture for my oily days, not too emollient so blend quickly.

Apart from that I have not been wearing that much makeup. Tinted moisturiser, Blush, Mascara. That’s it. 

I have discovered a blog ‘Point of Interest’  Its basically a scientific take on cosmetics.  It explains ingredients and how they work down to the smallest of details.  I am particularly interested in the hair care.  You need some basic chemistry knowledge but I find it fascinating as I do A2 chemistry and I’m just a nerd like that.

Favourite drink of the week has to be Starbucks ‘Egg Nogg Latte’ or ‘Soya Praline Mocha’.  I’m not a fan of Starbucks any other time of year (I personally prefer Costa or Café Nero) but their Christmas flavours are too good to resist.

Since I am vegetarian the winter has hit me in the face like a brick.  I have been a little sniffley ect.  I’m pinning the blame on my lack of protein.  So lately I have been obsessed with anything protein rich. 

A Stew with Soya Chunks, Country Style Soup Mix, Butternut Squash, Parsnips ect. YUMMY!

Favourite Track of the week is ‘I Need’ by Maverick Sabre.  His voice is absolute amazing I seriously suggest listening to this song!

Catch me on Twitter @ruta_yt

What’s one makeup product you cannot live without?

No-Makeup Challenge, UCAS ect.

This week has been a slow one.  I have finally sent of my UCAS application (how you apply for university in the UK).  After my tutor taking the piss for 3 weeks.  Now I have to hope he does his tutor statement and then the waiting begins. 

Today I woke up with a need to organise so I decided to change up how I store my makeup.  This is my new set up. Im very exited!

 I have been scripting a few videos including my weight loss video.  I don’t want to film it until I reach my goal weight but that may take a little too long.  I don’t know yet but I may just crack and film it because I want to get it out there. If I can help out then I would love to get the video out as soon as I can.

I went on the no-makeup challenge for a week.  Everyone was super sweet and I think Im going to actually continue.  It saves so much time in the morning and I really don’t see why I have to doll up for college.  Makes me look more serious if you know what I mean. 

So that’s my weeks update. What have you been up to ?

 

Professor Green, Ramble and Other things this week

Its been another week. I promised I will do this weekly so here’s your update.  Been on half term so naturally means a lazy week.  Doing a little too much shopping…listening to endless amount of music and just procrastinating about my life and whats going on.  Lately been filming a lot of videos and just deleting them once im done nothing seems to be good enough for my own taste to put on the channel. 

Just downloaded ‘At your Inconveniece’ this morning (new Professor Green) album. So far I love it. I was worried that its gna be too ‘dance’ inspired but its good old moody pro green.  LOVE!

My taste in makeup is forever changing. I never thought about it before but its true, I mean I guess it’s a good thing as I am always finding new things to obsess over and love but can be a bit excessive. 

Im meeting with the girls today hopefully if no more people cancel! Might do a little light vlogging but probably just going to forget and go out anyway. 

Do you ever feel like there is just never a right time?

Friends with Benefits, Videos, Twitter ect

Hey guys, been having a rather entertaining week actually.  Hot topic between me and friends has been ‘friends with benefits’.  What do u think?  Too risky, chance of attachment and heartbreak or just a good bit of fun?  My personal opinion keeps swaying as I get the opinions from more people but I think that it can definitely work in some situations. 
I’ve been getting obsessed with everything to do with social media outlets.  YouTube, Twitter, Face book, Blogger all have been receiving extra love from me as its half term and I have nothing better to do. 

Follow me on Twitter @ruta_yt

YouTube has been up to date with videos every 2-3 days depending on when  have time to upload.  Really proud of myself, I was on a serious ‘YouTube block’ hahaha.

From now on I will be doing weekly updates on blogger to keep a look out for those...

I am also in search of a new camera as I think it is finally time.  Mine has been playing up lately and its time to step it up.

How has your week been?

My Perfect Autumn Day

What can I say. It has been a rather lazy and uneventful day for me yet I couldnt have asked for a better one.  London's temperatures are finally hitting the chilly autumn side which I have been waiting for.  Sitting in my room with a few lit candles in my full tracks trying to keep warm whilst devouring a book with a cup of herbal tea is definatly what I call relaxation.  I'm currently trying to finish 'The Girl Who Kicked Hornets' Nest' the third and final installment to 'The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo' series.

I recall a day like this last autumn/winter which I spent blogging in the chill.  My reading obsessions have grown to a point where no time is to be wasted on watching TV and instead all my spare time is dedicated to reading.  Last saturday, in one sitting, I managed to read 'The Alchemist'.  Weird little book I have to say.  For me someone who is not so sure about the whole God thing its a little akward to read.  However I did enjoy the things about the universe and the general idea of persuing your dreams no matter how hard the journey has been or how much you may want to give up.  My now exessive reading is also making my passion for writing grow and the need for my opinion and voice to be heard more prominent in my own mind.  Well thats one thing that issint a lie on my personal statement. 

Another little perk in life that I cannot survive with and that I consider most people to take for granted is music.  No matter what you might be going through there will be a song that will : 1. remind you of good times 2. be in parrallel to what you are expieriancing or 3. just remind you that it will get better.  The artist that I am currently listening to non-stop is Ed Sheeran. Suprise, surprise.  His album '+' makes me feel like I on a whole other world when I listen to it.  I highly recommend it.  This post is completely rambly so I think I'm going to stop there.

Tell me what is your favorite thing to do on a autumn day is?