Memories that haunt you...

A few of days ago my friend added a couple of pictures that we took on the last day of college.  That day was the beginning of a weekend I still remember.  Looking back at those photos I look genuinely happy, which does not happen often in photos.  Thinking about it now the only other photo where I look really happy is one taken with my best friend but the reasons behind my happiness still circulate around the same reason. I cant exactly remember how I felt it seems like a blur to me.

It’s a shame that those happy moments only last for such a short period of time, but the sadness that comes after can feel like it engulfs your existence.  Those happy memories can haunt you and remind you that you will never have that moment again with that person or in that situation.  Easiest thing to do is to push those thoughts away and keep yourself busy with other things right?  Well, yes it is but the thing is that when you loose someone everything seems to remind you of them.  The stupidest, smallest insignificant things can completely send you over the edge.

I don’t know where I’m going with this, clearly.  Actually what I want to get across is that sometimes its better to cling to the good things and see them as positives and try to remember how happy you were and seek for that same feeling in some other form.  You will never erase your memories but they will slowly fade and be less vivid in your mind.  You will loose lots of those little details that cause a sting every time you think about it.  You will replace those with other memories that are longer lasting because they are more mature and mean much more to you.

Something that could of seemed extremely significant two, four, six months ago or even a year ago will appear irrelevant and minuscule.  You will fall in love with new things, music, people.  You will meet amazing individuals that will surpass any ‘benchmark’ that may have been set by the ones in the past.  Life is way too short to let yourself waste time being upset and not embracing the fact that you are fortunate enough to be still alive. 

Time fades everything...

It's been too long my amazing bloggies (yes we're making that a word).
I'm very sorry I haven't updated in a while but it's just been the usual Christmas craziness. You know that feeling.
I hope everyone had great holidays :)
All the best for the new year and I hope your sticking I your resolutions!

I haven't been very inspired to write lately but I feel like I have something I need to get off my chest. I'm writing this at 22:41 hoping I will be able to rest after I'm done.

If you read my blog you know I get a little deep/emotional from time to time. Well get prepared there's more coming your way.

Its amazing how caught up in the moment you can get. Whether its how you feel or what you think it's all too easy to escalate that in your own mind way too far. You my think you feel something very strong when really its just that moment in time. It eventually dies down to nothing. Well not nothing but close enough. I am one to try to suppress my feelings and avoid bothering people about it just because I don't want to seem like an annoying moany girl!

But sometimes it's good to have a rant. Why I blog about my feelings too actually. So the point of this blog is to get across that it gets better. Why I've been saying from the beginning about true friends sticking around and not being able to inflict pain upon you is still true. There are so many 'negligible' people that will be in your life and at that moment in time their significance will seem much more important to you. Don't worry about them. If someone hurt you and is not caring enough to apologise then why bother. It's jut not worth it.

Saying that always give people a second chance in your life. Even if you have had the worst fight imaginable things won't seem so bad in a month, a year or ten. Don't give up on people that have not given up on wanting to mend things with you. Life isn't perfect. You will have fights with your best friends and think you will never make it up but somehow for some reason you always do. It gets better trust me...

Tips on Getting Over Break-ups

So when ou break up usually seems like the worst thing in the world. You don't want to wake up in the morning and just wish you could stop existing, so you don't have to think about what you may have lost. Every time you see that person you get a sting and wish you could go up to them and have them kiss and hold you. You don't think this feeling will ever go away because every time you speak to them all those wishes come back to you. Well surprise surprise I promise that it all gets better.

Those feelings eventually go away. The time it takes for them depends on how you are wish the person after the break up. The best tip is to try and cut contact with them. I realise that's very hard and not possible in every situation I.e. school but it's the best way. The less you see of them or speak to them the less you are reminded of why you liked them in the first place.

If you cannot do that then I suggest being very 'cool' in a sense that you just keep your relationship to a basic friendship. You say hi and bye and have conversation when you are at a table together but avoid texting them or flirting in any way possible.

The issue of wanting them back is hard to tackle. If you broke up with them because of your wants then you have to remind yourself of why it happened. If they broke up with you because they 'didint feel the same' or if you broke up with them because you knew this then just remember that they are not worth your company. You are not their convenience that they can request to use whenever it suits them.

Remember loving your own company is probably the best thing you can do for yourself in life. You are the I ly person that you will have by your side every second of everyday of the duration of your life. There is no running away from you. So if you are happy with your own company then you don't have to feel inclined to have another person to make you happy.

True friends, Forgiveness and Letting Go

Only those who you truly care for can hurt you. The difference between a true friend: one that will be there for you no matter what happens or how you are and someone who is just there for a short period of time is in how they treat you. Only a true and real friend can accept your apology and never hurt you back in return. Someone who is only there temporarily won't understand how you feel or value your 'sorry'. They will make you feel awful about it and not be able let it go. A real friend will look past the mistake you may have made and  forgive you because they know your heart. The ones that you can forgive and forgive you are the ones that are going to be sticking around. Whether its the fact that there is a connection between you two or the fact that they know your heart to it's deepest; please don't spend our time on ones who can't let go.

Can Love be Defined?

Is love over-rated? What is love? I think we have all asked that question before. Love in my opinion doesn't come in a standard form. Everyone feels it different. That's why if I asked you to define love I'm sure you would have to think about it long and hard. I saw a diagram of three triangles 'friendship, love and sex'. 

I have always been a believer that sexual attraction is needed when dating someone otherwise it's like your going out with your sibling. That's never fun. Back to defining love. I think a basic thing is that you would rather be with that person then anywhere else at any time given. I also think if it's love you will make it work. You shouldn't be able to 'get over' someone you are in love with. They should be a part of you and taking that away is impossible. I am not one for cheesy boys but he should be able to make your heart melt with a few words or even a touch. They should of course know your coffee order. Finally the prospect of waking up every morning  to his/her face should make you look forward to the rest of your life. 

Friends, Life, Love and Evolution

I’m am so very sorry that I fell of the band wagon this week and missed my weekly Saturday post! I was busy with life i.e. shopping and dining and completely forgot to write up my post.  Nevertheless I’m going to try to make it up to you now.

So things I have loved this week:

My skin – I have been using retin-a for 2 weeks now and my skin is finally getting better.  My first week update video is here is you want to see it.

My friends – There are some people I heavily rely upon in my life i.e. my best friends.  Whether it’s a coffee I may need or a chance to rant I can always rely on my small group of besties to be there for me.

Me and one of my closest friends Ani, I cant live without her. Taken at our ‘secret’ spot in London.

Coconut oil – I am a coconut oil fanatic I have been using the stuff on my hair forever now.  But recently I have started to use it on my lashes and I have been getting a lot of compliments.  My video on coconut oil is right here.

My favourite beverage - had to be the ‘Soy Frosted Mint Hot Chocolate with Whipped Cream’ from Costa. Naturally.  I am not a hot chocolate fan but this is like ‘After Eights’ in a cup. I LOVE IT.

For music - this week I haven’t got anything specific.  Although I am enjoying Rihanna’s new album ‘Talk that Talk’.  I especially like the song ‘Drunk on Love’.

I read a book yesterday called ‘The Collapse of the Theory of Evolution in 20 Questions’. Brilliant that’s all that I can say.

Things that I didn’t like so much this week:

Thinking that someone cares about you when they obviously don’t.

The weather – its been getting cold, windy and rainy

The idea that exams are coming up soon.

Feel free to follow me on Twitter @ruta_yt

Kisses and Hugs to you all.

When you Loose someone in your Life...

Its weird when your relationship with someone who you were close to changes.  It feels like you have lost a part of yourself as they have left.  It makes you wonder if you were really that close and valuable to each other or just a part of the daily routine.  It happened to me before when I have drifted apart from my best friend and that broke my heart but this is different.  Even though I thought me and her would never make it up, somewhere deep down in me I knew that if I needed her no matter where we stood,  I could phone her up and pour out my heart.

I don’t feel like that about this.  I feel lost.  Its been five days since we last texted each other but it seems like its been months.  How is it that people that you may not even consider your close friends are the ones that affect you the most when they are taken out of the equation.  I don’t speak to some of my best friends for weeks on end but you, couple of days and that’s it.  Maybe it’s the fact that texting you has become a habit.  Something I do.  Just a part of my routine.

Is it that I only want to be friends with you?  Is that not good enough?  Am I all of a sudden un-interesting to you?  Well I cant really blame you; since I predicted myself that we will just probably stop talking on the side.  I still see you nearly everyday in college but that’s that.  How much better would it have been if we never went down that road?  Just stayed friends and that’s it.  But then in some ways I think it was inevitable.  Even if we were just friends at some point I would have started to like you. 

I guess I just have to get used to not talking to you.  That will be my routine then.  I mean I was fine and good at the beginning.  Then you go and start talking to me again.  I cant decide whether its easier not to have you in my life all together or be close friends with you?  As Professor Green says ‘being just friends is never going to be good enough’.