Its weird when your relationship with someone who you were close to changes. It feels like you have lost a part of yourself as they have left. It makes you wonder if you were really that close and valuable to each other or just a part of the daily routine. It happened to me before when I have drifted apart from my best friend and that broke my heart but this is different. Even though I thought me and her would never make it up, somewhere deep down in me I knew that if I needed her no matter where we stood, I could phone her up and pour out my heart.
I don’t feel like that about this. I feel lost. Its been five days since we last texted each other but it seems like its been months. How is it that people that you may not even consider your close friends are the ones that affect you the most when they are taken out of the equation. I don’t speak to some of my best friends for weeks on end but you, couple of days and that’s it. Maybe it’s the fact that texting you has become a habit. Something I do. Just a part of my routine.
Is it that I only want to be friends with you? Is that not good enough? Am I all of a sudden un-interesting to you? Well I cant really blame you; since I predicted myself that we will just probably stop talking on the side. I still see you nearly everyday in college but that’s that. How much better would it have been if we never went down that road? Just stayed friends and that’s it. But then in some ways I think it was inevitable. Even if we were just friends at some point I would have started to like you.
I guess I just have to get used to not talking to you. That will be my routine then. I mean I was fine and good at the beginning. Then you go and start talking to me again. I cant decide whether its easier not to have you in my life all together or be close friends with you? As Professor Green says ‘being just friends is never going to be good enough’.
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